


Best Before End Date

by Pepperweb



Series: A Wizard's Guide to Food-Related Charms [2]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Don't eat magical sweets, Established Relationship, First Date, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Several things go wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-06 18:03:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6764377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pepperweb/pseuds/Pepperweb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>‘Jack.’ said Bitty firmly.<br/>‘What?’ said Jack, finally looking up from his essay.<br/>‘Do you know what Saturday is?’<br/>‘Ummm’ Jack thought for a second. But Bitty answered for him. ‘It’s Valentine’s Day Jack, and it’s a Hogsmeade weekend. I’m asking you on a date.'</p><p>A Check Please/ Harry Potter AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best Before End Date

**Author's Note:**

> So, I was overwhelmed a the response for my earlier fic, it was unbelievable, thank you! And several people requested more.....so here is more!  
> I would recommend reading 'Recipe For Love (No Added Magic)' first as this follows on from that.
> 
> Again, a massive thanks to Vivian_Curtis for reding this through for me :)
> 
> And once again, thanks to Ngozi for creating this awesome webcominc

‘Jack?’

‘Mmmm?’ said Jack not looking up from his History of Magic essay he was writing, it looked like he was already 2ft over the prescribed minimum set by Professor Binns. _What a nerd,_ thought Bitty fondly.

‘Did you want to do something on Saturday?’

‘Saturday?’

‘Yeah, you know, what do you think?’

‘Yeah, sure, whatever Bittle.’

‘Jack.’ Bitty got up from the armchair he’d been sitting in and moved to the table where Jack was hunched over his essay, books lying open around him. Bitty put a hand on top of Jack’s to stall his writing.

‘Hey-‘ Jack started in protest but he was cut off by Bitty.

‘Jack.’ said Bitty firmly.

‘What?’ said Jack, finally looking up into Bitty’s eyes and Lord! Bitty always seemed to forget how blue Jack’s eyes were, how they could pierce his very _soul._

‘Do you know what Saturday is?’

‘Ummm’ Jack thought for a second. But Bitty answered for him. ‘It’s Valentine’s Day Jack, and it’s a Hogsmeade weekend. I’m asking you on a date.’

‘Oh’

Then Jack suddenly smiled and Bitty felt like he’d been hit over the head. _He was so gone for this guy._

‘A date?’

‘Yes a date. Are you making me ask you out this difficult on purpose?’ Bitty asked.

‘No!’ laughed Jack, ‘Sorry, I’d forgotten it was a Hogsmeade weekend and Valentine’s Day coming up.’

‘How could you forget!?’ cried Bitty incredulously, ‘Your food is still being spiked with love potions, and cupids have been sending you love notes _all_ _week,_ despite the fact that the _entire_ school now knows we’re dating-’

‘Are we dating?’ asked Jack. And of all the things to pick up on….

‘Yes, well, if we go on a date this weekend, then it’s probably safe to assume that yes, sweetheart, we are dating.’ Said Bitty with a roll of his eyes.

‘Okay’ said Jack happily. ‘I’ll pick you up at the school entrance at eleven then?’

‘It’s a date,’ replied a beaming Bitty.

 

~*~

 

 _What does one wear on a first date?_ Mused Bitty in class the next day, which was the Friday. They didn’t get much opportunity at Hogwarts to wear their own clothes, so he felt like it was more of a bigger deal than just throwing on anything. He sucked the end of his sugar quill and thought what was in his trunk from home.

He was interrupted in his outfit planning by a note sliding onto his desk. He looked around. Who was it from? No one in his class had seemed to notice. He cautiously opened the folded piece of paper; having learnt his lesson in first year to be endlessly careful around magical objects. But apart from its ability to fly into the classroom and navigate its way to Bitty’s desk, the note appeared to be harmless.

It was from Jack. Bitty recognised his neat slanted handwriting without even having to glance at the name at the bottom of the slip of paper.

_‘Bitty,_

_I’ve got a meeting with a scout tomorrow morning, can we push things back a little?_

_I’ll meet you for lunch at the Three Broomsticks at 12? But I can cancel with them if you’d prefer,_

_Write back,_

_Jack x_

Well Bitty didn’t want to write back. He wanted to keep this note, with the little x at the bottom from Jack. It reminded him of how Jack had kissed him yesterday, lingering, but light, a slight hint that he was holding back. It sent shivers up Bitty’s spine just thinking about it.

Of course he didn’t mind meeting Jack later. He knew how important it was for Jack to have these meetings with the Quidditch scouts and he wanted the best for Jack and Jack’s future career as no doubt a world famous player.

Bitty wrote back on the note,

_Sure honey! No problem, see you at 12, Bitty x_

And then he folded the note back up. With a little flutter, the piece of parchment hovered for a second then whooshed out under the door and out of the classroom.

Bitty sighed, _that boy,_ and went back to not concentrating in class.

~*~

Saturday did not get off to the best start. Bitty found he couldn’t sleep for most of the night - he was too excited for his date with Jack - then fell into a heavy doze around six in the morning. This meant that he slept through his alarm and only woke up when Chowder pulled apart the hangings from his four-poster bed and yelled ‘BITTY!’

‘Aaahhhhh! Holy Mother of-‘ shrieked Bitty, wrenching the covers up to his chest in terror. But then when he saw it was Chowder he groaned and pulled one of his pillows over his face.

‘Chowder honey, next time could you perhaps not give me a heart attack?’

‘Sorry Bitty’ apologised Chowder and his voice sounded so pitiful, Bitty sat up properly in bed to look at him.

It was only then that he noticed.

Chowder was completely pink from head to toe. Not just tinged, not just slightly pink in the face, no he was bright neon pink all over.

‘Goodness gracious! Sweetie what _happened_?’

‘Dex and Nursey were fighting and one of the cupids got really mad and started shooting his arrows at them and…..I got in the way.’

‘Oh dear’ said Bitty sympathetically, ‘Have you, you know, tried washing it off?’

‘Yes!’ wailed poor Chowder, ‘But it didn’t help. I think it’s permanent!’

‘It’s can’t be forever Chowder, it’s only a prank. I know those cupids can be a bit mean-spirited sometimes and have short tempers but it’s not permanent. Did Dex and Nursey just leave you to deal with this?’

‘I ran off before they could see,’ said Chowder miserably.

‘Remind me to have a word with those two. In the meantime, let’s get you to the hospital wing.’ Bitty looked over at his alarm clock. It read 11:25. Horror washed through Bitty. ‘Oh sweet Jesus, is that really the time? Chowder we have to hurry. I’ve got to get ready and get to Hogsmeade for 12!

Bitty lept out of bed and began rummaging around for some clean underwear. Thank goodness he’d laid most of his outfit out last night. Grabbing his things, he dashed into the bathroom. ‘I’ll be two minutes!’ he yelled to a pink, pitiable Chowder who was left standing in the dormitory.

There wasn’t time to have a shower. Bitty splashed water on his face and tried to sort out his hair by combing his fingers through it. It was not going to lie how he wanted it, but it would have to do. He brushed his teeth quickly and threw on his clothes. A smart shirt and jumper combo to keep him warm, it might not be snowing outside but the February wind was bitterly cold!

‘Right.’ He said to Chowder as he exited the bathroom. The unfortunate Quidditch keeper was still standing exactly where Bitty had left him… and still very much pink. ‘Hospital wing, now.’

‘Wait, no!’ said Chowder quickly.

‘Chowder honey, move! Let’s go!’ Bitty hastily did up his laces before he grabbed his coat, gloves and scarf.

‘NO! I can’t let anyone see me!’

‘I know it’s embarrassing but unless you really do want to see whether that spell was permanent then come on, let’s go!’

‘Bitty I _can’t’_ whispered Chowder desperately.

‘ _Why?’_ asked Bitty half worried, half exasperated. Did this boy not realise Bitty had his first date with Jack in less than half an hour? Jack. Jack Zimmermann, the guy Bitty has had a crush on for _four_ years, who just 7 days ago confessed that he liked Bitty (maybe loved but it’d been said in the heat of the moment and so Bitty wouldn’t hold him to it) and had kissed him _very_ thoroughly but since then there had been no action below the neck and Bitty (very) desperately needed more and today was his chance to get some. Did this lovely, sweet, pink boy not understand?!

‘Caitlin is waiting for me outside the common room’ said Chowder, clearly terrified.

Ah. Well that explained things.

‘Bitty, can’t you use on of your concealment charms to hide me from her?’

‘I don’t think that’s going to work,’ said Bitty. Although…he was pretty good at concealment charms; the need to hide his pies from ever hungry members of the Hufflepuff Quidditch Team had meant that he’d practiced hard to learn that particular spell. ‘I’ve never tried to do it on something that wasn’t an object.’

‘Oh please, please, please Bitty, I’m begging you!’

‘Fine okay, but another time Chowder, I’m sure she’d understand!’

Bitty drew his wand and said the incantation. Chowder flickered for a moment, then he vanished. Well…mostly. There was a bit of a pink fog where he used to be. ‘Good enough’ muttered Bitty. ‘Now, let’s _go!’_

They made their way out of Bitty’s dorm through the warm, underground tunnels that led back to the Hufflepuff common room. Pushing the circular door to the boy’s dorm open Bitty stepped down into the common room and held open the door long enough for the pink mist following him to float down too. There were a couple of people in the common room. Bitty hoped none of them would look too closely at him and the pink particles following in his wake. Though it was Valentine’s day; they’d probably just assume it was some sort of love spell.

Bitty hurried over to the main entrance to the common room and pushed a similar circular door open as well. He’d no sooner exited than Caitlin Farmer rushed over to him.

‘Oh Bitty! Have you seen Chris? He was supposed to meet me here ten minutes ago!’

‘Oh hi Caitlin!’ said Bitty loudly, trying to cover the squeak that was let out behind him from the pink fog. ‘Umm no I haven’t, er... I think he might have said something earlier about meeting you in the Entrance Hall at 12?’

‘Oh no! I must have got it wrong!’ said Caitlin, throwing a hand up to her forehead, ‘I’ll head there now! Thanks Bitty!’

‘No worries!’ Bitty called after her. He waited for a moment until she was out of sight down the corridor and turned to the pink vapour hovering behind him. ‘I hope you are grateful I lied to her,’ he said firmly to concealed Chowder, ‘Now let’s get to the hospital wing and hopefully you can meet her at the Entrance Hall in a bit. Let’s not keep her waiting.’

The pink smoke just bobbed up and down, which Bitty interpreted as a nod and so set off to the hospital wing.

 

~*~

Twenty minutes later Chowder was revealed again and back to his usual skin tone.

‘Thanks Bits!’ he yelled, dashing off to the Entrance Hall.

Bitty himself had a bit of dashing to do. He was going to have to run if he wanted to make it to the Hogsmeade and to the Three Broomsticks on time. And that was going to be a bit of a tall order. At times like this he wished it was possible to fly there and back, but sadly students had to go by foot.

Despite running as fast as he could he made it to the pub 15 minutes late. He fervently hoped that Jack would still be there. What if he’d got up and left? What if he thought Bitty wasn’t interested? That Bitty had stood him up? Curse Chowder and his tendency to get into trouble! Bitty was going to have strong words with Nursey and Dex about the whole incident. They should know better than to bicker in front of cupids!

Panting, Bitty reached up to loosen his scarf; having practically sprinted the entire way to Hogsmeade he was now far too hot. He tried to flatten his hair a little but he knew his face would be red from the exertion and the wind chill so any hope of looking decent had long disappeared. Oh no! He hoped he wasn’t as pink as Chowder had been! Oh this was a complete disaster. Jack would take one look at him and think ‘Why did I ever kiss him?’ And not to mention the time! He was so late! This day was going from bad to worse! Approaching the pub, he took a quick glance at his reflection in one of the windows, and grimacing he wrenched open the door to the pub and walked slap bang into someone.

‘Oh I’m so sorry!’ he exclaimed.

‘You’ve got to stop doing that Bittle,’ came a familiar voice with a smile. Bitty looked up, it was Jack.

‘Hi!’ Bitty said breathlessly. Mostly because of the running but also because Jack had that effect on him.

‘Hi,’ said Jack a bit softer this time. They paused there for a long moment, just looking at one another. But then Jack cleared his throat, and stepped around Bitty to come out of the Three Broomsticks, he was followed by a woman. Bitty came to his senses and started babbling, ‘Oh Jack! I’m really sorry I’m late! I slept in and then Chowder turned up in my dorm completely pink-‘

‘Bittle calm down!’ said Jack placing a steadying hand on Bitty’s shoulder, ‘It’s okay, our meeting overran anyway. You’re not late.’

‘Oh’ relief flooded through Bitty. Thank goodness!

Jack removed his hand and gestured to the woman beside him who had been donning her own scarf and gloves as well as conjuring a warming spell around herself.

‘Eric this is Georgia Martin, she’s assistant manager with the Falmouth Falcons. George this is Eric Bittle.’

Georgia Martin beamed at Bitty, ‘Hey! You’re the Hufflepuff seeker right?’

‘Yeah that’s me’ confirmed Bitty, shaking Georgia’s offered hand. She was a fairly tall woman, dressed in dark grey and white robes with a bird emblem on the sleeve. She had goggles pushed up onto the top of her hair and she had flying boots on her feet.

‘You’re pretty good you know, good broom speed and handling.’

‘Thanks!’ replied Bitty brightly.

Georgia turned to Jack and patted him on the shoulder, ‘Right, well, good meeting! Thanks Jack. I’d best be off now! We’ve got a game tomorrow against the Wasps.’ She nudged Jack with a grin, ‘Your Dad gonna be there?’

Jack shrugged, ‘Maybe, although he said he’d switch support to whatever team I sign with so I think he’s trying not to show favouritism.’

‘Ooh the thought of Bad Bob Zimmermann in Falcons robes would be worth the signing expense for you alone!’ laughed Georgia gleefully. ‘It’d wipe that smirk off Ludo Bagman’s face!’

She walked a little ways away from Jack and Bitty, to the Post Office which was the next building down from the Three Broomsticks. She grabbed her broom from where it was leashed outside and clambering onto it gracefully she swung back their way.

‘Nice to meet you Eric. Good talk Jack. I’ll be in touch later okay?’

‘Sure,’ nodded Jack.

And with that Georgia took off into the sky, heading south, back to Falmouth. Soon she was just a speck in the crisp February sky.

‘She’s flying all the way back down south?’ Bitty asked incredulously. He was starting to cool down now that he’d stopped running. He put his scarf back on.

Jack nodded, ‘Some witches and wizards just prefer to fly rather than apparating.’

Bitty whistled in awe ‘Wow! She seemed really nice though,’ he smiled and turned to Jack.

‘Yeah, George is great,’ replied Jack. He tore his gaze from the sky and looked at Bitty. Putting an arm around him, he pulled him into a hug.

Bitty sighed into it. He ended up pressed up right against Jack’s chest, he was warm and Bitty just wanted to soak up all of that heat. He also smelled _really_ good. He pushed his arms under Jack’s jacket and all the way around his back.

‘You okay?’ asked Jack, rubbing his chin on the top of Bitty’s head. Any hope that his hair was going to look good today left on the sharp breeze that whistled down the Hogsmeade high street.

‘I am now,’ replied Bitty and it was slightly muffled from where he was trying to just meld his body into Jack’s.

Jack laughed and Bitty could feel it from where it vibrated in his torso.

‘Come on, let’s get you inside before you become an ice-cube.’

The Three Broomsticks was busy like always, but Jack led Bitty through the pub, around the bar and up some stairs onto a balcony. There were people up here, but they were mostly couples too and hardly spared Jack and Bitty a glance. The balcony gave them the added advantage that they could see everyone below in the pub, but that those down below would really have to crane their necks to get a glance at them.

‘I didn’t know you could get up here,‘ said Bitty looking around.

Jack shrugged, ‘It’s a good place to hang out without getting bothered too much.’ He took his jacket off and gave it to Bitty along with his hat and scarf. ‘Take a seat and I’ll order us food and drinks.’

‘Firewhiskey?’ asked Bitty cheekily.

‘Butterbeer it is,’ said Jack firmly, and when Bitty pouted Jack said cheerfully ‘Unless you’d prefer Gillywater?’

Bitty shuddered at the recollection of his first tasting of Gillywater, ‘No thanks!’ he said pulling a face in disgust. Jack just smirked and left to go to the bar.

Bitty went over to an empty table and set Jack’s things on one chair and sat himself on the other.

Whilst he waited he looked happily down at the other occupiers of the pub. He spotted Jack at the bar quite quickly, he was chatting to Madam Rosmerta who herself was a big Quidditch fan. Bitty noticed the entire Ravenclaw Quidditch team were also here on what looked like anti-Valentine’s Day outing, evidenced by the upside down heart badges pinned to their clothes. Several of the members didn’t look entirely happy about being there and kept trying to slip something that looked suspiciously like a love potion into the Ravenclaw Captain’s tankard.

Soon though Jack returned with two full mugs of Butterbeer. Bitty smiled to see him, but that smile froze in place when he saw who was accompanying Jack.

Lardo and Shitty.

Now, Bitty liked these two. He liked them very much. But right now? Not so much.

‘Look who wouldn’t leave me alone!’ said Jack, with a clenched jaw. He set the drinks down on the table and looked at Bitty apologetically.

‘Bitty my man!’ cried Shitty as he pulled up another chair at the table.

‘Yo Bits’ said Lardo in greeting as she set down an entire tray covered in food, ‘Fancy seeing you here!’

‘Oh yes, what a surprise,’ said Bitty in a monotone.

‘Aren’t you against the whole Valentine’s day thing bro?’ asked Shitty. ‘Shouldn’t you be hanging out with the Ravenclaw team right now?’

‘Um, well you know, I’m not against the principle of Valentine’s Day as such….’ began Bitty, glancing at Jack ‘It’s more the abuse of love potions I’m concerned with.’

‘Well that’ll all be over tomorrow!’ said Shitty happily, ‘Although I’m not sure how Jack will cope next year when he’s a professional, famous Quidditch player and the entire world tries to send him love potions.’

‘Shitty-‘ started Jack but he was cut off by Bitty.

‘The entire _world?’_ asked Bitty, horrified. Lord! It had been exhausting enough trying to fight off a half the students in the school, how was he going to protect Jack from the whole wizarding world?

‘Uh huh’ nodded Lardo, reaching over and helping herself to some of Bitty’s chips.

‘Think about it Bits, Quidditch is our most popular sport, and if Jack gets selected for England- and why wouldn’t he, and no Jack, France isn’t an option, I don’t care what your dad says- then, he’ll be like our version of Viktor Krum.’

Bitty just sat there dumbfounded. He hadn’t really thought this through at all. It was all very well dating Jack now, but he was two years older than Bitty. He would be graduating Hogwarts this Summer and they were going to have to figure out what they were going to do about…them..this? Whatever it was between them.

Why would Jack want to go out with him? When he was going to be a world-famous Quidditch player and could have anyone he wanted? The entire world was going to fall at his feet (as it should), why would he want to have something with Bitty who wouldn’t finish school for another two years? And there was nothing Bitty could do to keep Jack, he couldn’t hex all the witches and wizards on the planet. He knew he had very little to offer Jack.

‘Of course, this would all be sorted if Jack had already found someone,’ pointed out Lardo.

Bitty’s head shot up to look at her. Lardo just stared at him right back.

‘What do you mean?’ asked Jack, voice tight.

‘I mean, if you were already dating someone, then everyone else would probably back off….just sayin’. Lardo closed her eyes and slurped her cherry cordial through a straw with a smug expression on her face.

‘Bro! You’re right!’ exclaimed Shitty, ‘Now if only we knew whether or not Jack _was_ dating someone-‘

‘Alright guys, quit messing around’ interrupted Jack, ‘Sorry we didn’t tell you but Bittle and I’ he glanced at Bitty as if to ask his permission ‘….we’re dating.’

‘OH REALLY?!’ said Shitty sarcastically with a touch of the dramatic.

‘Wow bro, would never have figured that one out,’ smirked Lardo before turning to look at Bitty from across the table and raising her eyebrows at him.

Bitty just sat there going steadily more and more red. It wasn’t that he hadn’t planned on telling the others, it’s just this was their first date for goodness sake! Jack had only confessed he liked (possibly loved) Bitty a _week_ ago.

‘How…..how did you know?’

‘Bitty, come on dude, you couldn’t be subtle to save your life’ chirped Lardo.

‘Besides, Jack’s been walking around all week with a smile on his face,’ said Shitty, ‘Very out of character if you ask me.’

It wasn’t hard. Shitty and Lardo were so accepting, and Bitty found himself laughing along with them and even coaxing a laugh or two from Jack. Any anxiety he had just melted away. They continued chatting and eating and Bitty found he resented less and less the intrusion and rather just appreciated his friends….and boyfriend?

But still it wasn’t really a date when your friends are there too. Once they’d finished eating and the talking had died down a little. Jack pushed his plate away and stood up.

‘It was nice hanging out guys but me and Bittle are going to go finish our date now.’ Bitty quickly started putting all of his layers back on and made to stand up as well.

‘Aww bro! Where are you headed?’

‘Somewhere without you Shits.’ said Jack firmly. He placed a hand on Bitty’s back and steered him back towards the stairs whilst calling out over his shoulder, ‘I’ll see you later,’

‘Sorry Bitty,’ apologised Jack as they exited the Three Broomsticks. The hot food and warm butterbeer was sitting nicely in Bitty’s stomach and giving him a pleasant relaxed feeling. ‘They cornered me at the bar and would let up.’

‘Oh don’t worry,’ said Bitty cheerfully, ‘It was nice to hang out as friends and not just teammates.’

‘Yeah,’ agreed Jack, ‘You know you guys mean everything to me right?’

Bitty looked up a Jack. The Quidditch Captain was looking down at his shoes, as if he was embarrassed to admit that.

‘You mean everything to me too Jack,’ Bitty said softly and with that Jack’s head lifted and his eyes met Bitty’s. Without so much as a warning, Jack stepped forward into Bitty’s personal space and lowered his head to kiss him.

There was just something so _right_ about kissing Jack. Bitty couldn’t put his finger on it, but the way his slightly chapped lips rubbed against Bitty’s…..well, he could feel the frisson all the way to his toes. The kiss was light, like all of the ones Jack had given him this week. But they were on a _date._ Bitty wasn’t going to put up with anymore of this. He grabbed Jack’s scarf and pulled him closer, and running his tongue along Jack’s lower lip, coaxed him into parting his lips enough so that Bitty could lick his way into Jack’s mouth. Jack let out a little moan that sent a shiver through him. Lord! If he made that sound because of a kiss….what sounds would he make if Bitty did other things?

But then Jack was pulling back, out of the kiss and straightening up. Bitty tried not to be disappointed but something must have showed on his face because Jack ran a hand through his hair and stuttered, ‘s-sorry Bits,’

‘Jack Zimmermann you can’t expect to just kiss me swiftly and leave it at that!’ exclaimed Bitty, pouting a little.

‘Sorry,’ repeated Jack, glancing back towards the pub, ‘just…just not here.’

Oh.

Well, fair enough. They were still outside the Three Broomsticks. In plain sight of anyone walking up the Hogsmeade high street and, Bitty noticed, in full view of several Hogwarts students who had their faces pressed up against the pub windows, ogling them.

‘You’re not embarrassed of me?’ asked Bitty, nervously.

‘No!’ cried Jack quickly, ‘No! I just, I’m not one to seek attention.’

Bitty nodded, ‘That’s okay, how about we go somewhere else?’

‘Sounds great’ said Jack, ‘Honeydukes?’

 

~*~

 

Now this was what Bitty had been looking forward to.  The simplicity of holding Jack’s hand all the way to the popular sweet-shop and not letting go, not even when they entered the crowded store, not even when Bitty exclaimed and ran over to the new stock of sugar quills. Jack held on the entire time.

It restricted how much Bitty could hold, that was perhaps the only downside. In the end he was forced to drop Jack’s hand because he simply could not hold everything in one hand.

‘Bitty I’m just going to get some Honeydukes chocolate for my mum,’ said Jack leaning down so Bitty would be able to hear him over the background noise, ‘She says they don’t do chocolate properly on the continent.’

‘Sure thing sweetheart,’ said Bitty absentmindedly, he was eyeing up the jar of pink coconut ice and wondering how much he’d realistically be able to eat before the frogs broke into his stash of confectionary. No matter how hard he tried to hide them, Nursey, Dex and Chowder managed to find them. He sighed, before filling a bag full and heading towards the counter to pay.

‘Bitty!’ came a cry from across the shop. Bitty turned to see Ransom and Holster, the Hufflepuff beaters winding their way in between students to get to Bitty.

‘Oh hi guys!’ said Bitty brightly.

‘Bitty, was that Jack’s hand you were holding as you entered this fine establishment?’ questioned Ransom.

‘Oh…um….maybe?’ answered Bitty.

‘Pay up bro’ said Ransom with a grin as he turned to Holster. ‘You owe me 5 galleons and 7 sickles.’

Holster grumbled before withdrawing the cash and handing it to Ransom. ‘Alright!’ cheered Ransom and he high-fived Jack who had approached the counter to pay as well.

‘What’s that for?’ asked Jack, perplexed.

‘You and Bitty bro!’

‘Couldn’t you have held on until the end of exams?’ groaned Holster, ‘I had money on you making this big love confession on the last day of term.’

‘You were betting on us?’

‘Dude, the whole team was betting on when you two would get together! And I had Valentine’s Day, cliché I know, but still, it totally payed off!’ crowed Ransom in triumph.

‘Well technically we actually got together last Saturday’ interjected Bitty.

Ransom’s face froze. Holster’s expression however changed from one of abject misery into one of complete jubilation. He flung his arm out to point at Ransom, ‘Hah! You lose bro! Give me my money back!’ Unfortunately, his arm also collided with the pile of bagged sweets balanced in Bitty’s arms. Sweets flew in every direction and Bitty scrambled to pick them back up. Jack also ducked down to help him.

‘What? No! Hang on!’ protested Ransom, ‘That was still Valentine’s week! Come on! No one was even close to this date apart from me!’

‘I don’t know dude, didn’t Lardo have down a first Saturday of the month but not one that was an even number? Doesn’t that make her the winner?’ Holster had his hand splayed and was counting days on his fingers.

Ransom’s mouth was just hanging open at this. There was a pause before he launched himself at Holster. Jack and Bitty stood up, arms full of sweets as they watched their teammates wrestle in the sweet shop.

‘Have you paid?’ asked Jack quickly.

‘Yes!’ nodded Bitty.

‘Then let’s get out of here’ said Jack and the two of them scurried out of the shop laughing.

They didn’t come to a halt until they were on the outskirts of the village. Their faces were red from the cold and from laughing. Jack stopped at a bench and pulled Bitty down next to him.

Jack took the wrapped confectionary from Bitty and with a wave of his wand shrunk everything down until it could all fit into his pocket, apart from the bag of fizzing whizbees, which Bitty knew were some of Jack’s favourites.

‘So I think pretty much the entire team now knows we’re dating,’ said Bitty.

‘Do you mind?’ asked Jack, ‘I should have asked you earlier if you minded me outing us to Shitty and Lardo but I knew they’d be cool with it,’

‘No I don’t mind’ said Bitty, ‘It’s nice not to have to hide something that makes me this happy.’

‘I make you happy?’ said Jack as if he genuinely didn’t know the effect he had on Bitty.

Bitty smiled, ‘Yes, yes you do, you Quidditch _nerd’_ and with that he scooted right up next to Jack on the bench and sliding his fingers into Jack’s hair he pulled him down into a kiss. This time Jack didn’t keep it light, instead he kissed Bitty with enthusiasm. Bitty opened his mouth eagerly for the tongue that slipped inside. He moved a hand down and fisted it into the front of Jack’s coat, pulling him closer even though there was no space left between them. Jack was exploring his mouth _very_ thoroughly and oh Lord! Bitty had been imagining this for too long, and he was happy to say that the reality surpassed all expectations. Jack Zimmermann was a great kisser.

In between their exchange of kisses their breath misted out to hang in the air around them. Bitty found he hardly noticed the cold. Jack’s new onslaught on his mouth was warming him very nicely thank you. And the way Jack swiped his tongue along Bitty’s lower lip in a mirror of what Bitty had done to him earlier, well! Bitty found that it caused him to let out a moan similar to the one he’d extracted from Jack for the same thing.

‘Oh!’ he let out a little squeak; embarrassed by his reaction.

‘Mmmmm, see?’ said Jack with a grin and pulled him back into another kiss.

Well Bitty could happily get used to this. Being kissed by Jack Zimmermann was a very nice experience, one he’d be more than happy to repeat, later today, tomorrow, the day after that, the day after that. Possibly forever. Just sayin’. There were a lot worse things that could happen to him than being kissed by Jack.

When Jack ran his hands down Bitty’s sides, it caused him to shiver from the sensation but Jack mistook it for something else..

‘Are you cold?’ he asked, concern all over his face. His lips were red and slick and Lord! The sight of lips that had clearly just been kissed combined with the slight flush in Jack’s cheeks…Bitty found that his trousers were getting a little tight. He shifted a little on the bench.

‘No I’m not cold’ he said, but Jack didn’t look convinced.

‘Come on, we’d best head back to the castle, we can warm up in front of the fire in the common room. And you can eat your weight in sweets.’

‘Or,’ suggested Bitty moving back in close to Jack, ‘We could stay here and kiss some more?’

‘Who said kissing wasn’t involved in my idea?’ said Jack with a smile.

Bitty leaned up to kiss Jack once….then twice.. before saying ‘Well when you put it like that Mr. Zimmermann, who could resist?’

‘You’re only coming with me because I’ve got all your candy,’ said Jack, kissing him back sweetly.

‘Oh honey, you’re sweet enough already,’ chirped Bitty and he jumped up from the bench and taking Jack’s hand they headed back through the village back to Hogwarts.

‘Whizzbee?’ said Jack after they’d walked back down the highstreet and past the Three Broomsticks. He held out the bag to Bitty.

‘Sure’ said Bitty and he got a sweet out of the paper bag and popped it into his mouth with his free hand. At once the sweet dissolved in his mouth. Whizbees didn’t normally do that.

‘Ugh!’ said Bitty, swallowing the remnants of the sweet, it tasted sickly. He stuck his tongue out.

‘What’s up?’

‘I think that one was gone off’ said Bitty smacking his tongue and lips trying to get rid of the taste.

‘Was it past its sell by date?’ asked Jack, trying to look at the bag, ‘What’s the date on these?’

‘Um, honey…’ said Bitty. He suddenly felt a bit weird.

‘Yeah?’ said Jack but he wasn’t looking at Bitty, he was distractedly looking at the packaging on the Whizzbee bag, ‘You know it doesn’t say anything on here.’

‘Jack I don’t feel great.’ Said Bitty quickly. He felt quite…bloated? Like he’d eaten too much or swallowed a lot of air from drinking too fast.

Jack spun to look at Bitty and Bitty saw his face drop in horror.

‘Bitty don’t move.’

‘Jack, whatthh’s wrong?’ but the words were difficult to get out, Bitty’s tongue felt very thick.

‘I don’t think that was a Fizzing Whizbee.’ said Jack looking Bitty up and down.

Bitty looked down at his body and panicked, _what was happening?_

Bitty’s stomach was puffed out, as if he’d gained a sudden load of weight. But he didn’t feel heavy, instead, he felt…..light. He lifted a hand to feel his stomach which was sticking further and further out. But his _hand._ The fingers were all fat and chubby, he threw both of his hands up to feel his face. It felt puffy, his cheeks shouldn’t be that podgy should they?

‘I think it was a Bloating Bonbon’ said Jack. His blue eyes were wide.

Bitty inhaled in horror. But that seemed to make things worse, he actually felt his feet began to lift off the ground.

‘Jack! JACK!’ he tried to reach out to grab Jack’s hand but his arms wouldn’t work, they were puffed and useless, his whole body was _inflating._

 ‘Okay we need to get you to Madam Pomfrey fast,’ said Jack, he stretched out a hand and grabbed Bitty’s fattening wrist and tugged him along the high street. It wasn’t hard, Bitty was getting lighter by the second. Both his feet were now a couple of centimetres off the ground.  They seemed to be making alright progress, Jack was pulling him along fine, but his grip on Bitty was getting harder and harder to maintain as his whole body inflated more and more.

‘Hey guys!’ came a shout and it was Ransom and Holster, they were also making their way back to the castle. They crossed the high street but stopped when they realised something was wrong.

‘Bro? Should Bitty’s feet be off the ground right now?’

‘Guys, help me get him back to the hospital wing!’ called Jack. Bitty tried to open his mouth to shout for help but his cheeks were making it difficult to talk.

Suddenly a fierce gust of wind rushed down the high street and tore Bitty from Jack’s grasp.

‘Oh shit.’ Said Holster.

‘Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh’ managed Bitty, it was the only sound he could make as his body was blown away and tossed into the sky. This was bad. This was extremely bad. This was worse than when the Gryffindor team had strung him up between the Quidditch hoops in second year.

He was now rapidly gaining height, soon he’d be over the tops of the roofs of the buildings.

‘Quick!’ yelled Jack as he sprinted back up the street to the post office. Pointing his wand at the broomsticks chained up outside there was a bang! And then-

Well then Bitty didn’t see what happened because the wind gusted again and he was turned upside down.

‘Ohhhhhh’ he groaned. Okay, this was even worser. He could hardly move his arms or legs now they were so puffed up. He had no hope of righting himself.

No, wait it got even _worse_. There was a ripping, tearing sound. He was going to start splitting his clothes soon. Oh good lord! Bitty squeezed his eyes shut just as the first button popped on his shirt.

Oh and he was still getting higher and higher.

Tears leaked from his eyes. This was it. This was how he was going to go. He was going to float away into the sky and at some point he was going to go POP! And that would be the end of Eric Richard Bittle.

Well at least he would go out with a bang.

Bitty found that depressing and hilarious at the same time. He started hiccupping.

‘BITTY!’ came a shout and oh! It was Jack. Bitty opened his eyes. Jack was upside down and sitting on a broom. Oh no wait, it was him who was upside down. He looked up. The ground below was now quite a long way away.

‘Bitty it’s alright! I’ve got you!’

‘Oh….Ja-ck’ the words came out so mumbled. Bitty was sure his face must be the size of the moon by now.

‘We’re going to tow you back to the castle okay?’

He tried to say ‘I love you’ but it came out so garbled and was more like ‘I-lo-yuu’. Bitty felt his heart sink. He was going to die and he never got to tell Jack how much he loved him and how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. Which wasn’t going to be all that long really.

‘Hey Bitty! It’s alright! We’ve got you!’ and there was Lardo pushing into his vision. She put her hands either side of Bitty’s ballooning face and turned him gently, rotating him until he was the right way up.

‘Ohhhh’ and that was all Bitty could manage.

‘We’ll sort you out!’ she said kindly. Bitty just hiccupped in a miserable response.

‘Everyone roped up?’ asked Jack loudly. Bitty tried to look around but his movement was so restricted.

‘We’re all here’ said Lardo.

And they were, the entire Hufflepuff Quidditch team, plus Lardo, were circling around him. Waving their wands and shooting jets of golden rope to encircle Bitty.

‘Right,’ called out Jack, ‘You keep up or you’re off the team.’

‘Too right motherfuckers! We’re aiming to break the airspeed record here!’ came a shout that was unmistakeably Shitty. ‘Lead on Zimmermann you beautiful fucker!’

And they were off! Eight of them on their brooms zooming through the sky back to the castle on the horizon, a ballooning Bitty in tow.

And it was _fast._ Jack led the way, hunched over his broom, coaxing every amount of speed he could from it.  Bitty felt the wind whip and sting his puffed cheeks. Another hiccup forced its way from his chest. They were all here for him. His friends. He felt his heart swell within him, along with everything else.

PING! One more button popped off from Butty’s shirt, followed by another, and another.

His jeans, tight to begin with were clearly straining against his inflating body. _Please, please, get me back before I lose all decency_ prayed Bitty.

Hogsmeade was now behind them and they were racing over the wooded area between the school and the village. Over the railway stop for the Hogwarts express and following the path as it wound up to the castle. They were coming up on the school incredibly quickly. Jack had not been joking when he’d said to keep up. The Quidditch Captain flung out an arm to indicate a right downward dive and, in classic chaser formation, the flyers swooped down following his lead as they swerved down, down, down and around the castle.

‘Nearly there Bitty!’ came a cry from Bitty’s left. It was Chowder. How he’d got here Bitty didn’t know but he was so grateful.

They continued veering around the castle, before pulling up and coming to hover outside the windows of the hospital wing.

‘Quick!’ yelled Jack, ‘We need to get him inside!’

Bitty saw the problem with that immediately. He was far too bloated to fit through one of the windows. He was also sure his trousers had seconds left before they split.

But then one of the windows opened and Madam Pomfrey herself was leaning out and shouting something to Shitty who had been pounding furiously on the glass panes to get her attention. She disappeared for a few seconds and then returned with a cup of blue smoking potion which she handed to Shitty.

Shitty took it in one hand and flew back up to where Bitty was bobbing slightly up and down on the breeze but still firmly tethered to everyone on brooms.

‘Hey ya go Bits, drink up,’ encouraged Shitty, wafting the concoction under Bitty’s nose. It smelt vile. But Bitty was past caring at this point. He opened his mouth as far as he could, which wasn’t much because of his humongous cheeks and Shitty managed to trickle the liquid into his mouth.

Immediately a wheezing noise started being emitted and Bitty felt the pressure which had been steadily and steadily building start to subside. He was deflating! Everyone on brooms cheered and whooped and high- fived each other.

Jack flew as close as he could to Bitty and hovered in front of him. He reached out a hand and placed it on Bitty’s bulbous cheek. Bitty winced inwardly, he was pretty sure he resembled a ball. Or maybe a piece of popped corn, or quite possibly a marshmallow. Also, he was 90% certain he’d dribbled some of that potion down his chin. All in all, he was positive he looked horrendous. So why wasn’t Jack looking at him with a revolted expression?

‘Hey,’ said Jack quietly, so the others couldn’t hear, ‘You’re okay.’

Bitty could only nod in response. It took a couple of minutes but gradually he could feel himself getting thinner and thinner. And also less buoyant! But Jack was there to catch him before he sank back to the ground. The Quidditch captain hoisted Bitty onto his broom and once Bitty was a more manageable size, he wrapped a strong arm around him to keep him in place.

Bitty really didn’t have the energy to do anything but lean into Jack. It was all a bit too much. But the good thing was that he wasn’t going to explode!

Once Jack deemed him sufficiently deflated he steered his broom close to the castle wall and edged them in through an open window. The rest of the team were still loudly congratulating themselves and now keeping themselves entertained by lassoing each other with the conjured ropes that they’d used to tug Bitty back to the school.

Jack landed on the flagstones of the hospital wing and helped Bitty off the broom and onto the nearest bed. Bitty was finding it difficult to co-ordinate his arms and legs as they were still quite puffy.

Madam Pomfrey hurried over, ‘Oh you poor boy! I have complained and complained about those bloating bonbons! Very dangerous out of doors, why! You’ve could have got yourself blown up!’

‘It was an accident Madam Pomfrey,’ assured Jack.

‘Well I presumed as much! I know Mr. Bittle has more sense than to knowingly ingest something so potentially dangerous.’ she cleared her throat before continuing, ‘You will need to spend the night here young man so I can keep an eye on you.’

‘Can Jack stay too?’ asked Bitty as Jack reached behind him to plump the pillows behind his head.

‘Certainly not! Mr Zimmermann you can stay here for five minutes and not a second more!’

‘But-‘ protested Bitty.

‘-Do you want me to make him leave now?’

‘No.’

‘Well then. Five minutes Mr. Zimmerman.’ And with that she flounced off to the other end of the hospital wing and proceeded to yell at the Hufflepuff Quidditch team to leave her patients in peace.

Jack pulled up a chair to come and sit next to Bitty’s bed. There were a few moments of quiet before Jack reached out and grabbed Bitty’s hand. His fingers were still a little podgy-looking but that didn’t seem to put Jack off. ‘Tell me you’re okay’ Jack said worriedly.

‘I’m okay now,’ said Bitty warmly, looking at Jack’s face. ‘You saved me.’

‘-Bitty’ Jack started to protest, but Bitty cut him off.

‘You did! Without your quick thinking who knows what would have happened?’

Jack just looked at him as if Bitty had completely missed the point. ‘I…..just…I’m so, so sorry,’ he apologised.

‘What?! It’s not your fault!’ cried Bitty.

‘I gave you that sweet! If I’d just looked at what was in the bag! It must have got in there when they spilled all over the floor… I’m never eating Fizzing Whizbees again,’ he declared. This made Bitty laugh.

‘No!’ he giggled, ‘They’re your favourite, I won’t have you not eating them because of something stupid that happened to me!’

But Jack wasn’t laughing; he didn’t share Bitty’s amusement.

‘Bitty…’ he started.

‘What?’ asked Bitty softly.

‘Bitty I nearly lost you today,’ said Jack and Bitty realised he was on the verge of tears. He looked so full of anguish. ‘Bitty, I….I just…the thought of never seeing you again, the fact that you nearly _died-‘_

 _‘Ssssshhh_ honey. It’s alright.’

‘No it’s not!’ cried Jack.

Bitty would not have this. He was not going to let Jack think that he was somehow responsible for this. He sat up more and leant over to wrap Jack up in his arms, hauling Jack onto the bed next to him. Hey, he was stronger than he looked.  He settled Jack in between his legs and encouraged Jack to lean back so he was pressed up against Bitty’s chest. Bitty circled his arms around him and finding his hands, held them in his own.

‘Sweetheart it’s alright, I’m here, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.’

‘But you nearly-‘

‘Jack.’ Said Bitty firmly, he wasn’t going to have Jack getting into a full blown panic attack over _him. ‘_ Jack sweetie, I am _okay.’_

‘But you so nearly _weren’t.’_

Bitty raised a hand and just smoothed down Jack’s hair. He loved how it was so dark and thick. His own was so fair.

‘But I am. And I’m here, with you.’ He placed a kiss into Jack’s hair. ‘And apart from all the distractions and near misses today, I really enjoyed our date.’

‘You did?’

Bitty smiled and let it enter into his voice, ‘I did.’

‘Seriously? How could you like _any_ of it?’ Jack said incredulously. He turned around onto his knees to face Bitty on the bed.

‘I liked spending time with you,’ shrugged Bitty. It really was that simple.

‘Oh’ said Jack.

‘Did you like spending time with me?’ asked Bitty.

‘Yes. Yeah I really did,’ replied Jack. He ran a hand through his hair.

‘Well then, we should do it again sometime.’

Jack looked at him as if he’d gone mad. ‘Without all the intrusions or disasters, obviously’ he clarified, rolling his eyes.

‘Bitty…..I…..’ said Jack. Bitty just looked at him enquiringly, ‘I love you,’ Jack finished.

And there it was.

‘Really?’

‘Really,’ nodded Jack, and he leant in to press a now familiar light, but lingering kiss to Bitty’s lips. It was so sweet and pure that Bitty felt his heart melt.

‘Oh’ said Jack with a frown once he’d pulled back. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.

‘What?’ asked Bitty, perplexed.

‘You’ve got some of that potion…..right there,’ said Jack, raising a sleeve-covered hand to wipe at Bitty’s lower lip and chin.

‘Oh good lord!’ cried Bitty, ‘I must look like an absolute disaster! And when I was all blown up? Jack! How could you _stand_ me?’

Jack just laughed, and when Bitty began trying to sort out his hair which was surely now a bird’s nest as it certainly _felt_ like one, he just laughed even more.

‘I give up,’ declared Bitty, ‘If you can say you love me, even after I’ve been inflated to resemble a beach ball and have got potion dribble down my chin, then I suppose it doesn’t matter what state my hair is in.’

‘Jmmmmmm, I’d say you looked more like a Golden Snidget,’ said Jack, with his head tilted to one size. ‘Yeah, a very large, Golden Snidget!’

‘JACK LAURENT ZIMMERMANN! DID YOU JUST COMPARE ME TO A DIMINUITIVE BIRD?!’ Bitty was outraged. But this just caused Jack to dissolve completely into giggles on the bed.

‘Gentlemen!’ came a shout from down the hospital wing, ‘Do I need to remove one of you?’

‘No! It’s all right Madam Pomfrey,’ Bitty called back as Jack tried and failed to muffle his laughter.

‘Oh come here you insufferable idiot,’ said Bitty, reaching out to pull Jack back into their earlier position with Bitty holding Jack. His fingers had returned to normal size now and he intertwined them with Jack’s.

Bitty leaned down and planted a kiss to Jack’s cheek.

‘You know, Snidgets are very agile and good at avoiding predators,’ said Jack, as if he thought that this somehow would make the comparison to Bitty better. ‘In fact, catching one is extremely difficult…’

‘Not quite sure where you are going with this Mr. Zimmermann,’ said Bitty, mouthing along Jack’s jaw. Lord! His skin tasted good.

‘What I am saying is that they were considered a great prize,’ said Jack, tilting his head to allow Bitty better access. Bitty moved back up, trailing kisses along Jack’s jaw and into that space between ear and neck. Jack’s scent was very strong here. Bitty took a moment to inhale and appreciate it.

‘And that the wizard who caught one gained much prestige,’

‘Oh,’ murmured Bitty, sucking at a delicious point on Jack’s exposed neck. ‘Have you caught me Jack Zimmermann?’

‘I think I might have,’ said Jack turning his head now to capture Bitty’s lips with his own. Bitty sighed into the kiss. This was never going to cease to amaze him.

‘Well…well done you,’ he managed to reply, but was stopped from saying anything more by Jack’s mouth returning to his. It was a lovely, long, slow burn sort of a kiss.

‘Alright you two! Enough! Desist! Mr Zimmermann, be off with you!’

Bitty was the one to pull out of the kiss, very reluctantly he might add. Kissing Jack was addictive. He would like lots more of that in the future please.

‘See you tomorrow,’ said Jack quietly, ‘Get some rest,’

Bitty nodded as Jack sat up and disentangled himself from Bitty’s grasp. He squeezed Bitty’s hand and, with a cheeky look at Madam Pomfrey who was standing at the other side of the bed, he leaned back in for another quick kiss on Bitty’s lips.

‘Mr Zimmermann-’ began the hospital wing matron sternly.

‘I’m going!’ Jack said with a smile, and grabbing the broom which was still hovering where he’d left it, (brooms never seemed to wander off from Jack, Bitty didn’t know how he did it) he hopped onto it and started to exit the hospital wing.

‘Mr. Zimmermann! Flying is prohibited-‘ cried out Madam Pomfrey, but she was cut off by Bitty yelling ‘Jack!’

Jack pulled up suddenly and looked back.

‘I love you!’ cried Bitty. Jack just beamed at him and, showing off, looped-the-looped his way out of the hospital wing.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So according to Quidditch Through the Ages, the Falmouth Falcons have a reputation for hard play; their motto being 'Let us win, but if we cannot win, let us break a few heads'. I'm just going to pretend that they've since reformed as the club name is just too perfectly similar.
> 
> A Golden Snidget is a tiny, winged bird which inspired the first Golden Snitch.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Drop me a comment to tell me what you thought :)  
> xH


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